The Orlando’s wherever we are Pt. 3: Social “Monsters” created every step of the way!

“…not uncommon to encounter signs stating: ‘No Fems, Fats, or Blacks Allowed.’  White gay bars have been picketed in America from coast to coast…sources in Los Angeles reveal…’dogs’ have 9781481707282_COVER_FQA.inddbeen unleashed…upon resilient, early pioneer ‘picketers’ there.

“…white gay novices…now flood the community, stumbling into …warrior’s vacant spots…more affiliated with…the dazzle of commercialized hetero culture…”

Trouble In Black Paradise Chapter 15: A Demon Lurking In The Closet Of Mainstream Gay Organizing, pages 308 & 324.


Greetings heart filled readers!

Trouble in Black Paradise shines light on a long U.S. trail—where chaos shaped what haunts us today.


America is literally a 500 year social “pressure cooker”—now in yet another boiling over phase.

My last blog hit what’s swept under a cold religious rug:

The 500 year “test tube” cooks up social monsters who span the gamut—from a sheltered 100_2213privileged “class” (seen as acceptable) to a trail of broken outcasts—with everything caught in between.  No sector escapes.

Orlando’s killer is a more obvious monster, as is those who’ve similarly ambushed the general public (victimizing men, women & children).  Other monster’s “identities” are often not as crystallized as is the typical stereotype (their actions—or lack of therein—being more “subtle”).

All are monsters nonetheless (molded by perverse & corrupt ideology “forces”) whose various social situations I shall soon lay bare.e212967601c90604bc1ee1f8de41a5e3

We know ethnic & general social diversity crammed the very bottom of that “test tube”; crunched under that nasty privilege element.  Enforcers (claiming “moral authority” from god) saturated the entire “works” with their main ingredient: white supremacy’s “radicalized” Christianity.

The white “ruling class” got catapulted to wealthy world leadership—but for the working class stratum it was a recipe for disaster.

To stunt the expected itch of “rebellion” (at home & in subjugated foreign lands) “radicalized” 79196eb59d23917f9756a17c36b596f8governors built “mini cookers”—designed for each U.S. interest.  Perverse programming ideals were shrewdly pounded in—especially bottling “poor whites” (who sit just above others).

That “tube” (securing a white underclass) got generous portions of privilege’s illusion.  It became pivotal: needing to feel superior & “included” poor whites readily lined-up across racist frontlines doing rich folk’s dirty deed—violently keeping “outsiders” in check (all while rulers derailed them).

But another Caucasian group sat literally crunched beneath that standard poor.  Seeking some crumpets of “social reward” (frantically diverting deadly onslaughts away from them) they also 21SIPIN2-articleLargebought the “white superior” illusion hook, line & sinker: they’re the white homosexual.

In each bottled “sector” most people were soon broken (like rounded up Mustangs) setting a powerful psychological effect: broken spirits now actually worshiped barbaric white “ruling class” values—quick to abandon their own healthy human (& unique cultural) interests; all in the name of a quite familiar “radicalized” notion: honoring a greater “command”—from god.

So much damage culminates into the mental deformity overriding them all: self-hatred.

marsha2“Cookers” set perfect storm conditions to churn out dangerous fiends: monsters being designed (& hideously incidental) brutalized every minority group—the Afro-American “test tube” in this batch caught the brunt by far.

But the gay “tube’s” tragedy ripping across the LGBTQ spectrum tops all others.  Our condensed layers of wreckage from physical & psychological attack leave everyone’s in the dust (the reason Trouble In Black Paradise stresses that “point for point,” Blacks & gays share the same valid Civil Rights “issues”).

It brings us back to the Orlando killer:

Miguel (a fictional name) claims to have “dated” Orlando’s killer for 2 months.  Spanish media’s Univision TV interviewed him (strangely ignored by U.S. outlets); addressed in Pt. 1. it shouldn’t be missed!  100_2211

Miguel believes other factors sent the killer over-the-top (a shocker following a “tryst,” plus vicious & insulting banter—far too excessively fashionable in gay scenes)—not “radical” Islam.

Making this plausible is the same wretched underground climate I faced:

The gloomy state-of-affairs in early “gay spaces” left an enduring stamp on today’s legacy—sadly it’s now maybe even more convoluted.  “Radicalized” Christian minefields were blockades’ 02_BarBusts1_ExaminerMardiGrasBall-San-Francisco-Examiner-photographer-Ray-“Scotty”-Morris,-January-1,-1965_LRGengulfing our havens.  Navigating any number of “fiend” encounters (just to enter) was treacherous business—a “legacy” Orlando’s killer crossed into.

“Coming out” the absolute majority of “us” are totally alone—often for the first time in our lives!  With bone chilling bravery we fled families & any social services (barely in place for them); we risk total disownment—from the only ones who’d offered emotional & physical reinforcement thus far.  Parents are willing to throw us away—blinded by their “radicalized” views—just because we answer a spirit-call torturing us to find our sexuality “likenesses.”

Tinderboxes describe our waiting arenas:

Bits of every basic U.S. segment flood in, hiding from daylight (add others treated as miscreants & subversive discards that’d fled—seeking their own relief); blank eyed folks (swallowed in a cloud of “mental scars”) are fixtures in corridors.

In these tinderboxes we had to be savvy, fending for ourselves:

Predators prowled the underground for easy targets (who’d not dare report being victimized).  1466667570_288c19469a_oOur lives could be ended, we could be arrested just for “touching,” careers ruined in an instant—definitely a position no one would seek just as a fad, or merely to “rebel.”

I myself was terribly traumatized—smothering in a padlocked “closet.”  Escape meant I had to come through the “fiery birth canal of consciousness.”  It then took a year for me to say out loud to myself, that I am a homosexual; & another ten years just to relax enough to practice the “art” of flirting—with another man.

A veteran of social advocacy work I was extremely fortunate—daring to ask questions of friendly looking strangers.  “Experienced” new friends gave dire warnings: “have em’ where you find em’—then leave em’ right there!” (Too many folks were lured into traps, or found dead on desolate trails).

Then reality dropped another bomb: I saw gay men & lesbians in a horrible divide; racism soon screamed its dastardly presence & other “prejudices” ran rampant.  Social work’s lesson said comptonsthat the abused do abuse their own & here was an added, perfect example in living action:

White gay men reveled atop a hierarchy & (while licking their own wounds) ruthlessly pushed “others” in the scheme aside.

Adding insult to this “gay insider” tragedy, I realized every hetero cultural group & class level totally had moral authority power over us!  Now, the dregs of greater society (floundering under the rest) got their elusive taste of “privilege”—praised in family settings when becoming vocal gay bashers.

The anti gay ingredient pressured the entire “cooker”—no “tube” in it escaped:

Centuries of nonstop pounding skewered every psyche, ensuring mere notions of 7e17c071142f38be492322468a1c8c29homosexuality got dangerously explosive “knee jerk” reaction—even from gays themselves!  Now (solidifying that insult to tragedy) an actual “legal term” was created to justify shielding those who murder us: “gay revulsion”; this card elevated knee-jerk homicidal action to a level of worship!

My mom during “the talk,” when painfully accepting my news (so clearly aware of the above) blurted: I’m terrified for your life!  Knowing she carried this enhanced fear became my biggest burden.

Then mom joined us facing the unthinkable: HIV mysteriously appeared; generations of gay men instantly vanished!  We were most terrified of “all,” still getting rocked with damnation blame.  The chasm between youth (brave enough to again resume “coming out”) & gay survivor trailblazers only widens; it’s a formidable disconnect—the generational baton was not passed, it fell into a vacuum.

For LGBTQ folks this is one hell-of-a horrendous “test tube!”  People of color by far fair worse in Stonewall Riots, June 28, 1969 (2)these stats—but Blacks again, definitely catch the brunt.

Buddhism of the East shows people are the “product of the environment” in which they live (& internal threats are the worse) so a thing is easy to see: too many casualties of the grand “cooker,” already teetering on the edge, get incidental shoves off the mental cliff—everyday.

I’ve stated what victims lose relating to “others,” their kindred (& themselves): empathy, sensitivity, the impetus to engage, perceive & relate.  Stunted is unconditional love, affection, the drive to care & protect.  Probably the biggest losses are the desire to seek knowledge, “improve life” & most terrible: losing the bond of allegiance (“glue” that moves us to polish our shelters & perpetuate ourselves).15_stonewall_w560_h391_2x

Here are the “radicalized vat’s” obvious monsters—“external terrorists”—coded as gay stalkers:

Lawmakers whose sodomy laws executed us; predator cops raided & imprisoned us; average citizens murder & assault us (the Matthew Shepards & Gwen Eddie Araujos’ strung as a message); agents who deny us housing & jobs; doctors who poisoned us for profit with toxic “no cure” treatments; school admin’ who deny our validity (& sacrifice gay kids); blood relatives who ejected & disowned us; these to name a few.

image084Some of our own gay “test tube’s” terrors (internal monsters) are obvious:

Homosexuals (drowning in self-hatred) beating or murdering sexual partners, then maybe becoming these: serial killers causing innumerable disappearances—unsolved & solved (like John Wayne Gacy; & Jeffrey Dahmer, a white man cannibalizing mostly men of color—but again, mostly Blacks)…Orlando’s killer might fit here.

Yet, the following gay monsters are considered “subtle”—or not monsters at all:

White male pubs denying minorities, women & “others” entrance (discrimination continuing); gay “right winged” politicos backing big money interests (that work to eliminate us); “Dude Snotties” spitting on gay male legacy (HIV holocaust victims); drunks crashing about with reckless disregard; folks detached from gay liberation “action”; gay “underage” youth shunned by the greater LGBTQ community; gays 403791948_aa69344a33_ooblivious to our ancient history (with no interest)—losing the desire to “grow”; also oblivious to unfinished business ( like restoring “erotic” gay male imagery that society carefully eliminates); these to name a few.

And these (mentally derailed) casualties could be our most nefarious monsters:

Gays who’ve imploded, joining a flood of “suicides”; & homosexual poster child’s in “radicalized” Christian conversion therapies: etc…etc…etc…

one-nation-under-god-ldetail“Radicalization” did create Orlando’s killer (& “serial killer” brands) but the source may not be what you think!

These all consuming “tubes” (endless casualties laid out above) make this perfectly clear: extremists “terrorizing” LGBTQ folk (at every turn) have been stripped of their “humanity” & a steadfast allegiance to all humankind!  The 500 year “cooker” sets the perfect storm conditions.

Buddhism says governments are the most influencing powers of “all” (& cause & effect is absolute): how rulers sow, everyone shall “reap!”  212170475Divide & conquer situations, making certain folks disposable to fatten the “rich,” is the real abomination—absolutely unleashing a spectrum of abominations.

Gays are losing the “glue” that’s essential to advance: “allegiance.”  Disconnection from our own group’s cause means losing allegiance to our own lives.  Internal is the biggest threat: homosexuals have become disposable to gays from a loss of empathy & losing the drive to protect; disconnect grows more solid because of a hugely stunted “spiritual” item—intimacy.

Losing the “fire” to know who we really are in human history—our validated spiritual place—leaves only the onslaught of “radicalized” Christian propaganda: lies saying we’ve been damned by everyone all along.  Too many “radicalized” gays actively live & protect those lies—some don’t berdacheeven know it.

Ironically Eastern spirituality asserts the opposite thing: it says homosexuals arrived as “two-spirit” healers—a global shaman status (affirming the male/female center in “all”); central is the mission to actually guide populaces back to an essential: realignment with humanity.

And we do see the supreme power of “spirituality” in action, confirming why “radicalization” so targets our precious valve:

Some pioneers left those “tubes” flaring up against oppression—slamming racist/sexist religiousstonewallii programming—hoping to galvanize “enlightened life” bravery in an LGBTQ movement (Harry Hay, James Baldwin, Jim Kepner, Phyllis Lyon & Del Martin, Bayard Rustin, Lorraine Hansberry, Harvey Milk, etc…); just a few unsung heroes featured in Trouble In Black Paradise with good reason.

Buddhism’s Bodhisattva’s “arrive” in the most chaotic setting (at social rock bottom) wielding the power (& solutions) for harmonious repair—not in corruption’s “wealthy” comfort zone.

What’s implied here is provocative:

two-spirit-dancers-prepare-from-two-spiritsGays inherit (thru a long “cosmic” line) the “stuff” that can synchronize restoring the human fabric of integrity—shoring up a global level of “allegiance” to protect citizens—but 1st we must clean-up our own hospitality act regarding each other.

We have to get back that “glue!”

Looks like gays might have some parallel company at the bottom, in a seemingly impossible “cosmic” task.

To be continued…


5 thoughts on “The Orlando’s wherever we are Pt. 3: Social “Monsters” created every step of the way!

  1. Pingback: SF Blue-Ribbon Panel “Saturday Forum”: brutal cop culture rolls along—giving itself “impunity.” | Adilifu Fundi

  2. Jim Glines

    Notes on The Orlando’s Wherever We Are

    Part 1

    First let me say that the Orlando tragedy was not only profound, it was a major force in shaping not only the negative right-wing resolve, it was (or should have been) a formative point of change and affirmation of resolve for gay/queer folk everywhere. Sadly, even the day of the shooting, I saw posts of hunky men and silly internet crap posted as ‘diversion’ or ‘relief’. It, for me, was neither. It did remind me that regardless of the scope of the sad tragedy, many people seem to be unable to empathize. My personal belief in this regard is the rapid deceleration of the intrinsic intelligence level of not only the populace in general but the queer populace in particular.

    Your confrontation and subsequent correction of ‘Dude Snotty’ is an underscore to my opinion. Those that cannot be inclusive – most especially those among our queer youth – risk becoming the very kind of person that your “Dude Snotty” represents, and it is our collective failure to stress our history, the lessons it contains and the sad result of not doing so that brings about the birth of such attitudes. This ignorance, social omission and dereliction of duty on our part is something that we have largely neglected and must correct.

    “Dude Snotty” is a direct result of our paying attention to only the hedonistic, manufactured ‘reality’ we have fashioned for ourselves without the balance of paying heed to and instructing the young in our important and necessary historical and cultural perspective. We are first and foremost the first generation to embrace and ensconce in our law the freedom to, if we so choose, embrace all the elements of society and correct the ones that repress us. The young, it seems, still can’t get past the penis to the brain. I was guilty of it myself.

    Part 2

    “Psychological damage is a ruthless ruler’s strongest weapon—period! Expended lives are meant to terrorize the “living”—the impact keeping both the oppressed & privileged in check—so that policies & conditions charge unchallenged well into the future.”

    Oh, my friend, I could not have elucidated this as clearly as you have! It is a core belief of mine that the psychological manipulation of masses is the specialty of politicians and clergy; it seeps from them like acidic ichors from a festering wound that refuses to heal. This manipulation of the spiritually vulnerable is a thing that when it comes down to it is the worst infliction of pain and fears that mankind has achieved.

    It is impossible to estimate the damage done in this way, but it is possible to see a way out of it, and most of us wish for the human souls around us to find that path and follow it out of the mire. But what I have seen is that, although one can instruct and teach, one cannot expect others to accept and follow sensible spiritual teaching. Indeed, changing anyone’s beliefs and decisions is I think an unreasonable expectation but a challenge we must undertake regardless of the seemingly fruitless outcome. It isn’t hopeless; even being a catalyst for one person’s change means the fight to bring humanity to a higher level of thought continues after we have gone.

    Although I do embrace Buddhism’s fundamental tenets, the idea as you relate it that, Buddhism also says that all humans (even the most evil) carry the enlightened life-force “potential” that can transform absolute corruption—on all levels is a truism that many would reject as naive, but I believe it to be true, even if it is difficult for me to accept. It is easy to demonize others and I am guilty of it myself, at least somewhat, but I do think that all people, including this horrific killer – and even me! – have the potential to reach higher thinking and come to the most necessary and truthful opinion that we all matter, truly, and mean it not just as a blithe statement.

    Perhaps “Dude Snotty” will someday be reminded of your instruction and it will make a fundamental and real change to his ‘limited’ existence. Who knows? Or perhaps the life he thinks he enjoys will be profoundly altered by others that are unfortunately unkind rather than progressive and altruistic.

    More to Come! Have to get some things done. LOVE YOU and keep up your resolve and I promise to do exactly that, too!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. adilifufundi Post author

    Here’s an interesting footnote to the “Dude Snotty” incident. Two months later I dropped by the same patio at The Mix. While greeting young friends who sat at a table one whom I didn’t know spoke up saying, “I know you! I met you here on Gay Pride Sunday.” Low & behold it was the young Black man who witnessed my confronting “Dude Snotty.” He was absolutely ecstatic to see me again. The young man was totally appalled by “Snotty’s” response to my revealing the San Francisco Giants baseball team had actually created “Until There’s A Cure Day” benefiting AIDS agencies here. He thanked me profusely for soundly taking “Snotty” to task. It turns out this young man was on his way to study abroad & really wanted my book “Trouble In Black Paradise.” He enthusiastically got a copy & couldn’t wait to also read this blog, which has given him a bit of notoriety. He looked so forward to delving into my book & promises to give me future updates. The universe works in mysterious ways!


  4. Pingback: First 100 days spotlights “U.S. horror’s” Voters—showing they are him! | Adilifu Fundi

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